living out a verse

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned what it is to be content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. Phil. 4:11-13

Being a college student, I know what it is to be "broke." I've gone almost completely broke many times in my college career. Actually, I never really looked at it as having money even when I did-because the money I did have was always borrowed money-or grants. I've always considered myself at heart in the "red. "

Don't get me wrong. I have had jobs as well. But, never anything incredibly lucrative, or that wasn't temporary. But, I always looked forward to that one glorious day when I could be done with school-so I could actually start earning a "good paycheck." So I could start paying back loans, and being self reliant and self sufficient. In terms of ambitions, that was all I really aspired to financially. To me, it is more important to have a job you love. I aspired to that as well.

Right now, I neither have a job I love nor am I making that much coveted "good paycheck." Its a blow really: to graduate and move back in with your parents. Its hard on the self esteem, the patience, heck its hard on pretty much everything. Obviously, this is not how I imagined my life would be at this point. I tell myself, this is just for a couple of months. Then I will be leaving the state-or then I will have such and such job and I will move out. But not even that is secure. And, I know the problem of making plans. We make them, God laughs.

My whole life right now is uncertainty. More than the waiting for something great to come along-its the uncertainty of whether or not something will that bothers me. Ive had many "waiting" periods in my life. But, I was always able to survive them because I had the certainty that something better awaited me. Now though, everything is up in the air.

Yet, I believe strongly that God has something for me. And even if He doesn't, even if things don't work out according to my plan-I believe that He is good and His plan is perfect.

More than that though-I am learning to be content in my present circumstances. I am grateful to God for giving me at least a part time job that seems like it will be a good one- for the moment. I am thankful for the challenge and distraction of a new job, and new environment. I am thankful that there is a possibility I could get a second job as well. I am thankful for my family, and my present situation. And I mean that earnestly. And that comes from the heart. A couple of days ago I was so frustrated I wanted to pull my hair out. But, God's grace is sufficient for us, and when I needed it most He has supplied it.

God grant me ever more peace, strength, and faith as I navigate this special time in my life, that you have ordained.

NE Aquarium

Friday my old roommate Diane, her friend Marvin and I went to the New England Aquarium in Boston. It was my first time going-and it was a lot of fun! They have sharks and rays there right now and I got to pet some rays in the touch tank! I opted out of petting the sharks. lol. They also have a 75 year old sea turtle named Myrtle and her baby. Oh and penguins! And seahorses. sheshe. Here are some pics-

Shahhks! Only in New England. Thats my old roommate Diane and Marvin on the left

A ray

These are my favorites. Rockhoppers



just chillin


seahorse! i love seahorses! theyre so cute!

shahk! remember fish are friends not food!

i believe this was some kind of fur seal. cool though

she speaks whale :)

hmmm...

me petting the rays :)

my friend ray

cute!

turtle!

myrtle!

Fun day!

North Shore Revisited-Marblehead

Next we saw a sign for Marblehead and decided to go there. Marblehead is a really pretty fishing village. Its pretty-but its a nightmare driving through it. Tons of narrow streets that start out two way and then end up as one ways with no notice. Its wierd. Anyway, we had a time searching for the lighthouse-but we found it. Its so beautiful up where the lighthouse sits. Then we drove back into the town and had dinner at a restuarant that was right on the ocean! It was really nice.

After we ate we went to walk along the beach and met these kids and their dad searching for crabs and lobsters. It was so cute the kid started telling us how to find them and catch them. Here are some pics-

This is a pet peeve of mine-people who live on the beach and try to keep it all to themselves. You shouldnt be allowed to own the beach. idiots

The jerks who think they own the beach

Unfortunately for my mom it was Thursday.

A house next to us at the restuarant

Marblehead lighthouse from our restaurant.

All in all a lot of fun. Can't wait to go back!

North Shore revisited-Salem

Ever since my mom saw the pictures from my trip to the North Shore she has been wanting to go. Last Thursday we were finally able to. Its hard because the weather isnt always nice here-so we have to look for the good weather days and plan in advance. Well, Thursday was a great day. The weather reports called for sun but isolated T storms. We decided isolated T storms wouldnt be too bad. Well- we needn't have worried anyway because there were actually NO T storms the whole day. It was sunny and warm the whole time. woohoo!
I was driving, and I mapped out how we were going to go in the beginning-but this being New England-NONE of the streets are marked so we couldnt always find what we were looking for. I wanted to take 127 around cape anne-but we never found 127-until the end of the trip. It was hidden off to the side on a road with a crazy intersection-- and you can only see it coming from one direction-ughh!. But, we ended up stopping and exploring in two cities: Salem and Marblehead. It ended up being a spontaneous adventure. So it turned out alright in the end. And we are planning on going back to do the trip around cape anne on 127 next time-since now we know where it is.
Anyway here are some pics of the trip. First off-Salem!

Nathaniel Hawthorne's house of Seven Gables from the back

The Friendship again-and the pier with the lighthouse

Salem Customs house

We went in the witch museum. It was ok. They have a whole presentation you can watch and then another exhibit about perceptions. I wanted to learn more about the history though.

She's a witch! burn her!

store in salem

a mariner built this in 1771

West India Goods store

Jobs, locations, uncertainty--- faith!

I wrote out a whole blog with details about what is going on right now in my job search. I decided though that I dont want to be too detailed at this point. Lets just say at the time there are a couple of opportunities I am hoping will turn into something-one in NH and some in CA. None of them are concrete in any way-just things I am hoping will work out.

So Im just asking for prayer. I really am trying to have peace with whatever happens. All I really hope for is that at least one of these leads turns into something. I still feel like everything is up in the air and thats really hard. I mean, it is exciting too-to see what God is going to do in my life and where He is going to lead me. I feel like Im at a point now where I can do whatever I want-I am free to go wherever and thats fun and exciting and its unique to this moment. Not that I couldnt move later-but you never know what might happen.

Anyway, in my previous post I mentioned peace and strength-which is what I need right now. The peace and strength of God to be ok with whichever direction He leads me, as well as for patience. At this time it looks like Im going to be in a waiting game for a couple of weeks. Im trying to keep my mind off things-trying not to get frustrated and scared and impatient. Ive been praying a lot-but mostly just saying the same things over and over. Its enough to drive one crazy. For the next couple of days Im going to be in NH-trying to continue to get my mind off things-and look for part time jobs there. It looks like at this point thats where I will be moving regardless of whether the job Im looking at there pans out-unless something happens.

Also, Im praying for God to work in great ways. I know it would be such a long shot for me to get a job in CA at this point. But, I believe in miracles- and the God I serve is capable of the impossible! Anything can happen! So please pray with me. I really cant wait to see God work in amazing ways!

Psalm 29:11

The Lord gives strength to His people;
The Lord blesses His people with peace.

Stephen Colbert in Rindge NH!!!

Happy Fourth "Massholes!"

Stephen Colbert profiles the "Harriet Tubman" of fireworks. So hilarious!

This Atlas fireworks is down the road from my parents house. haha...

Especially love the diagram showing the traffic from MA into NH!!! lol!

Well anyway hope everyone had a good fourth. Mine was alright. Enjoy the video!

No "Heading"

I always thought I knew exactly what I wanted. I had it planned out for a long time. After all, what did I go to school all this time for? What did I work tirelessly for, for such a long time? I surely had something in mind all those nights I spent studying.

But now, everything is up in the air. There is nothing lined up for me, and nothing on the horizon. I have started to feel like I have no direction, no "heading."

Thats not entirely true though.

I read a quote recently that said, "If you have no direction any road will take you where you are going."

Its really simple, but also really true. If I really had no direction it wouldnt matter where I went or what I did. Its the fact that there is something I want, something Im not sure how to attain that is really bothering me. I know what I want-it just seems like I cant have it.

Im trying to come to terms-trying to have peace and give it up. So many times in the past I was able to give certain things up-I think because I already had all I really wanted.

I still hold to the belief that everything will work out-even though it might not be the way I wanted or hoped.

I dont know if I conveyed everything that Im feeling correctly. At any rate, I would appreciate your prayers. :)